Only Human
by Alviarin
Summary: Post DOC. After killing Omega Vincent is never found. Almost a year later two members of AVALANCHE haven't given up hope of finding him. When Cloud discovers the gunman hiding in a forest Vincent is forced back into the world he had saved. Unfortunately he is not as whole as he once was. Cid wants to help the man he loves to heal. Vincent/Cid. SLASH, M/M, YAOI. M for a reason.
1. Hidden

**A/N:** I have never written a story for Final Fantasy before so I hope I can do the characters justice. The characters from FFVII are my favorites, but I don't remember all the canon so I may get a few facts wrong. I haven't played the games for a long time and am to lazy to do so lol. Ideas for this story just popped into my head as I was reading some great...and some not so great fan fiction here on the web. Also I was listening to a song by Krewella called "Human" and the lyrics reminded me of Vincent...my most favorite video game character ever created and my first ever fictional character crush lol. Anyway...here goes...please no flames, although I do like constructive criticism.

Oh! I forgot to say that this fic changes the ending of DOC. Basically Vincent was never found by any of his friends so they all think he's dead. This is also a SLASH Fanfiction. What this means, for those of you who don't know, is that there will be boy on boy love in this story. M/M, Yaoi, shounen-ai, these are all other names for the same thing. This will be a Vincent/Cid pairing with a little Cloud/Tifa on the side.

**Chapter One: Hidden  
**

Vincent slipped soundlessly through the trees following the sharp, metallic scent of blood. It was a smell he knew well and like most predators was drawn to it. His crimson eyes glowed in the darkness of the night, a trait that frightened most people away, but gave him perfect vision in the almost complete black that surrounded him. He paused, spotting a dark smear on the white bark of a tree a few yards to his left. The gunman flitted to it. The smell told him it was blood. He slid a gloved finger through the stain and touched it to his tongue. Human blood. A frown tugged at his lips as he realized he had tasted this blood before and a sense of urgency filled him. He resumed his flight through the trees, his cloak swirling around him.

* * *

Was this really how life was going to end for him? Alone and being eaten by a monster after he had survived multiple battles against Sephiroth? Cloud stared up at the creature that had him pinned and swore weakly. His sword was a few feet away, too far too grab and he was seriously regretting coming to the forest. He'd heard rumors that Vincent Valentine had been spotted around the area and had raced here to check it out...without telling anyone. "Stupid." He muttered and closed his eyes as the beast's maw descended on him. Suddenly the heavy creature was gone from his chest. The blonde opened his eyes in shock and looked around. Nothing. He was alone in the small clearing once again. Cloud scrambled to his sword as a terrible animalistic cry was cut short by a wet ripping sound somewhere in the trees to his left. He managed to get to his feet then froze as a pair of glowing red eyes appeared in the darkness surrounding the moonlit clearing. His grip tightened on the hilt of his buster sword. He promptly dropped it in surprise when the figure to whom the glowing eyes belonged stepped out into the light. "Vincent?" He gasped. What he could see of the legendary sniper's face was spattered with blood, as were the golden claws of his left hand. It was damn scary and was the last thing Cloud saw before he blacked out.

* * *

Vincent watched the blonde collapse and bit back a sigh. He would now have to carry his injured ex-comrade to safety, not that it was a problem for his demon and mako enhanced strength, he just didn't like touching people. Deciding to get the chore over with he moved silently to the fallen man's side and carefully lifted him up. Cloud was unsurprisingly heavy. The kid may have been shorter than him, but he had a lot of muscle packed onto his frame. He'd need it to wield those huge swords he insisted on using. Once the blonde was secure in his arms Vincent brought him to the small cave he'd been living in since defeating Deepground almost a year ago.

The cave no longer resembled a cave. Vincent had created a home within the cavern. When he'd stumbled across it after returning Chaos to the planet it had been infested with monsters, which he had destroyed with one of the demons living within him. Hellmasker had taken much delight in ripping the creatures to shreds. Quite literally, in fact. After the slaughter Vincent had woken in a virtual lake of blood and gore. Unfortunately he had been too weak to do more than crawl to a, mostly, dry place on the floor and go back to sleep.

The next time he'd woken it had been to Death Gigas complaining that he was hungry, so he'd gone hunting. Once sated the demon had allowed Vincent to return to himself, which hadn't been as welcome as it normally was. The gunman had been covered in congealing, and fresh blood...not to mention small chunks of flesh and chips of bone. He'd wrinkled his nose in disgust and made his way to the lake that was nearby. After washing the blood and...other stuff, from his body and clothes he'd looked around and realized that he had no idea where on Gaia he was. He'd also had no way of contacting the outside world and had discovered no remorse over the fact. He'd paid for his sins and had no desire to return to the world...it wasn't like anyone would miss him. No one would shed tears over his grave. He was also feeling unsettled. His demons had been fighting him and what little control he had was quickly fading.

So he had turned the cave into a home. It had natural vents so that he could build a fire if he so chose. In an abandoned village he'd found enough raw materials to make some furniture as well as some musty old blankets and rugs, enough to cover the stone floor of the cave. He now had a bed, some cabinetry, and a couple trunks. It wasn't perfect, but it was his home and he liked the quiet peace it had afforded him...a peace that was now shattered. He laid the injured Cloud on the floor near the pit he had dug for the fire. He used one of his materia to light one now then, biting back another sigh, turned and knelt next to the blonde swordsman.

Cloud's injuries were few, mostly small scrapes and bruises that would heal within a couple of hours, but there was a deep gash across his chest that needed attention. Vincent removed Cloud's armor before using his claw to cut away what remained of his knitted shirt. After cleaning the wound carefully the gunman stood and walked over to one of his trunks. Inside were some materia he rarely used. After rummaging for a couple minutes he finally found what he was looking for. When he reached for the small, glowing green orb he noticed the blood covering his gauntlet. Damn. It was a bitch to clean. He heaved a sigh as he stood then returned to Cloud's side. The young man hadn't moved, which wasn't surprising given the fact that Vincent could see part of his ribcage through the wound on his chest. He knelt next to the unconscious man and activated the Cure 3 he held in his hand. He watched with an odd fascination as the wound slowly began to knit back together. Muscle covered the visible bone and slowly built up to be covered by a thin layer of yellow fat cells, then skin. The rest of his wounds healed as well. Once the healing was complete Vincent lifted Cloud onto his bed and covered him with the thick blankets. He then left the cave to retrieve the swordsman's belongings he'd left behind in the clearing.

* * *

Cloud groaned and opened his eyes. His entire body ached, but oddly didn't seem to be in as much pain as it should have given the fact that he'd almost been sliced in half from what he could remember. He looked down in shock at his chest...nothing. There wasn't a single indication, besides sore muscles, that there had been a gaping wound there not very long ago. It was then that he realized he was in a bed...in a cave? His blue eyes took in the rough stone surroundings and comfortable furniture. What a strange dwelling. He wondered who lived there and if it was the same person who had saved his life. The last thing he remembered were glowing red eyes and blood...he sat up with a gasp. "Vincent." The swordsman looked around, but the older man was nowhere in sight. He saw his own armor in a neat pile along with his sword and pack near the entrance to the cave.

A soft sound, like the whisper of the wind through leaves, but unnatural in the prevailing silence had Cloud tensing. Red glowing eyes appeared in the entrance to the cave, which had Cloud wishing his sword wasn't so far away, then Vincent, fucking, Valentine stepped into the light cast by the fire burning merrily in the center of the cave. Cloud had to fight down a multitude of emotions. Anger and fear being the most prominent. Anger because the bastard hadn't let any of his friends know he was alive and fear because...well a man with glowing crimson eyes, covered in blood, and carrying a dead, skinned animal was pretty fucking terrifying. Vincent's eyes met his only briefly before he went on like the blonde wasn't there. In complete silence the gunman slid a metal pole through the meat of the animal he held and set it to roasting over the fire. Cloud's anger rose as Vincent continued to ignore him.

"You're alive." He stated flatly. "Why the hell didn't you call and tell one of us?" Red eyes met his then looked away. "We've been worried you know. We thought you were dead." Vincent shrugged, returning to his task of seasoning the meat. Despite his anger at the motion, Cloud's stomach growled as the delicious smells of the cooking meat reached his nose. A hint of amusement touched the gunman's eyes when he looked up at the sound, though his face remained impassive. The ex-SOLDIER felt his face flush and he looked away in embarrassment. He fiddled with the blankets covering his lap and wondered why Vincent wasn't answering him. The gunman had never been much of a talker, but he was acting as if he didn't care about his friends.

The uncomfortable silence lasted for almost an hour. Cloud refused to speak until Vincent answered his questions and the ex-Turk didn't make a sound. Nothing. No clearing of the throat or sigh, _nothing_. It was starting to creep the swordsman out. All Vincent did was stare into the flames. Every once in a while he would reach over to turn the meat. Cloud just watched him, wondering what was going through his head. He was also starving as evidenced by the loud growling of his stomach. Cloud flopped back on the bed and rolled so that his back was to Vincent. If he'd had the strength he would have left a long time ago, but he could feel how weak his muscles were from the loss of blood he had suffered and didn't trust himself to _stand_ let alone walk back to where he had left Fenrir. His motorcycle was in a garage in the small village near the forest entrance, which was a good twelve hours away. He would not make it there without taking some time to recuperate. "This sucks." He muttered quietly. He'd never really gotten on well with Vincent, but it had fallen to him to search for the raven haired man after he'd disappeared with Omega.

A hand on his shoulder made him jump and he looked up into Vincent's half hidden face. The damn cloak had always kept Cloud from being able to see all of the older man's features. Add to that the red band around his head and the dark hair covering most of his upper face and Cloud knew without any of it he'd never recognize the ex-Turk. Hell he'd never even seen the bastard in anything other than his black leather armor that hid every inch of skin, and his cloak that hid everything else. He opened his mouth to speak then saw the plate Vincent held. It was piled high with slices of meat with a knife and fork resting on its side. "Eat." Vincent's voice was rough from disuse and it startled the blonde. "Then we will talk." Cloud nodded as he sat up and took the plate. As he ate he watched Vincent take the rest of the meat from the spit. He removed the bones before placing the meat in a metal box that he then set in a pool of water near the back of the cave. Cloud knew it was a primitive way of keeping meat and other food items cold.

"You aren't eating?" The swordsman asked in surprise when Vincent sat back down by the fire without a plate of his own. The gunman only shook his head and returned to staring into the fire. Cloud quickly finished eating. He didn't know what kind of animal Vincent had cooked, part of him really didn't _want_ to know, but it had been delicious. He set the dishes aside and turned to look at his dark friend. "Now talk Vincent." He said quietly. "Why have you let us think you've been dead this whole time?"

"I am...unsafe...to be around." Vincent said haltingly. Cloud's eyes narrowed in confusion. "After I was rid of Chaos...the others have been fighting for control." Crimson eyes met his. A war no one else could see raged behind them and Cloud felt suddenly nervous. "Even now they..." He trailed off with a shake of his head. "It was better that I died." He said quietly sinking into his cloak.

"You're wrong." Cloud tried not to sound harsh, but his voice was hard. "We could have helped you...we still can." Vincent looked up at him, his eyes flashing with a violet light.

_"I would have ripped you all apart."_ The gunman said in a hiss, startling the blonde. Cloud flinched as Vincent stood and took a step towards him then, with an agonized cry, the ex-Turk fled the cave.

* * *

_Kill kill kill KILL!_ The demons screamed and cackled in his mind. They were fighting his control with every step he took as he ran from Cloud. _This_ was why he had stayed away from them. He didn't want them to see the monster that he had become, nor did he want to end up killing one or all of them because he lacked control over his actions. For the first few months he'd lost all control over his transformations and had slipped from one demon to the next killing everything in sight. When the transformations had finally ended he'd been covered in blood and couldn't remember anything except the feel of the warm, crimson liquid running down his throat. It had scared the living hell out of him. Living with demons inside of him was hell. He couldn't trust himself and had no desire to return to the rest of the world.

**A/N:** I hope everyone liked the first chapter. Cid will arrive in the next chapter, which I have written its just not ready to be posted yet. I thought I'd test the waters and see if anyone is even interested in this lol.

I don't normally ask, but I would love a review or two to let me know if this is good or not. A Fav or Follow works too, I just would LOVE some feedback.


	2. Found

**Chapter Two: Found  
**

**A/N:** I apologize in advance. I am not used to writing Cid's informal way of speaking.

Cid Highwind was beside himself with worry. Tifa had called to tell him that Cloud was missing. No one had heard from him in days, which wasn't like him. Especially not after Vincent had disappeared. Cid refused to believe he was dead and had been working with Cloud on trying to find him. When he'd last heard from Strife the swordsman had been checking out some rumors about a supposed Vincent sighting, but he didn't know where. He was getting the feeling he should just turn on the tracker Cloud's phone had trace it to wherever the chocobo head was. Before he did that, though, he should probably try calling again. The pilot snatched up his phone and dialed Cloud's number for the fifth time. To his shock and relief the blonde swordsman answered on the third ring. "Cid." Cloud's voice was strained.

"Spiky!" Cid cried. "Where the hell-"

"Shut up and listen Cid." Cloud cut in. "I found Vincent, but something's wrong with him. I need your help."

"Where are you?"

"I don't know, I need you to track my phone."

"Is he with you?" Cid's heart was beating frantically in his chest as he raced through his ship towards the bridge.

"No. He took off after..." Cloud trailed off his voice pained. "I was injured while looking for him and when I woke up he'd healed me, but...damn it Cid he's lost it or something. He said he would have ripped us all apart if he'd come back."

"WHAT?!" Cid cried stopping in his tracks as his blood turned to ice in his veins. "Why the hell would he a dun that?"

"I don't know!" Cloud replied. "All I _do_ know is that I'm too weak to move very far on my own and Vincent has some serious shit he's dealing with. Don't call anyone else. Barret would try to kill him, Tifa would be scared and Yuffie wouldn't know what the hell to do."

"What about Red?" Cid asked.

"He'd be fine, but I need you to get here _now_."

"Red's with me already." The pilot said as he started to run again. "I was takin' 'im back to the Canyon, but this is more important."

"Damn right it is." Cloud snapped angrily. "Get here as soon as you can." Cid heard a click signaling that Cloud had hung up. He swore softly and slammed through the door to the bridge. Luckily Nanaki was already there.

"Cloud found Vince." Cid shouted. "Track his phone an' quick."

"Vincent is alive?" Nanaki asked, his ears perking up.

"Yeah, but it sounds like all hell is breakin' loose in the vamp's head." Cid replied then related the conversation he'd had with Cloud to the lion-wolf. Nanaki's golden eyes grew concerned.

"Then we must hurry."

* * *

Cloud shivered as he lay on the floor. The fire had gone out some time ago and he couldn't make it back to the bed. Night was falling and a cold wind was howling around him. It had been almost twelve hours since he had talked to Cid and he desperately wished the pilot would hurry. Vincent hadn't come back, but he knew the man was out there somewhere battling demons only he could hear. The swordsman would have thought that with Chaos gone that the other demons Hojo had planted in the gunman would have disappeared as well. No such luck was to be had though, and it seemed like the demons had gone crazy without the influence of Chaos. Why was that?

A loud snap outside the cave made Cloud flinch then sigh in relief as Cid and Nanaki ran in. "Shit kid, the hell happened to ya?"

"As I told you on the phone, Cid, I'm still weak from the healing Vincent gave me. I lost a lot of blood." Cloud sighed as the older man helped him to stand.

"Where is Vincent?" Nanaki asked calmly.

"I don't know." The swordsman replied with a shake of his head. "He took off last night and hasn't been back." The dying scream of a monster sounded off in the distance making all three of them jump.

"The hell?" Cid frowned.

"That was less than a mile away." Nanaki said quietly. Cloud nodded, having already come to the same conclusion. "Cid, give Cloud the potion, we must make haste."

* * *

Cid ran alongside Cloud and Nanaki as they raced through the forest in the direction of the horrific screams they could still hear echoing around them. Suddenly they heard the unmistakable sound of a chainsaw. The three friends shared a look and ran faster. Cid was seriously regretting the fact that he smoked...and that his two comrades were younger. He was having a hard time keeping up with them and his breath was coming in short, wheezing gasps. All of that was forgotten, though, as the three of them stumbled into a clearing and came to a halt. The ground before them was littered with the mutilated and bloody corpses of monsters. In the center of the slaughter was a figure that they knew all to well...Hellmasker. The demon held its saw aloft and was screaming in triumph. "Vince..." Cid breathed. "What the hell happened to ya?" The masked demon turned towards them slowly, breath ragged from its efforts.

"_Kill_." It hissed. "_Rip...tear...shred._" All three of them took a step back in horror. Hellmasker was covered in blood and it's eyes glowed crimson through the sockets of the mask. With an insane shriek it lifted its saw and ran at them only to stop a few yards away screaming in anger. The demon's form melted away and a second later Vincent Valentine stood before them slowly swaying on his feet.

"Highwind?" The gunman gasped, falling to his knees. Cid ran to him and caught the other man before he could collapse further. He stared down into the blood spattered face of his dearest friend and felt his heart breaking from the pain he could see in those crimson eyes. Tears burned in his eyes as he carefully moved blood soaked hair from Vincent's impossibly young looking face. "You...can't be here...I-"  
"Shut up." Cid snapped. The ex-Turk blinked up at him, his beautiful eyes widening. "Yer a damn fool Vinnie." Red eyes winced.

"Vincent." The gunman whispered in correction. Cid just threw his head back with a laugh. Some things never change.

"I ain't never gonna call ya by that stuffy old name so quit yer bitchin'." The pilot snickered then scooped Vincent up into his arms. The older man protested weakly, but Cid shook his head. "Yer comin' with me an' that's final."

"You do not understand Highwind." Vincent tried again to push Cid away. "I am not safe."

"Shut it." The blonde snapped. "I been worried sick about ya." His eyes filled with tears again. "I thought you was dead." He added quietly.

"I can't die." Vincent muttered darkly, refusing to look up at him. Cid held on to him tightly as he began to cry in earnest. Why did he make it sound like being alive was a bad thing?

* * *

Vincent closed his eyes tightly as the demons screamed for release. Highwind was still holding him close and it took all the strength he had left to push the pilot away. They both fell to the ground, Cid still crying. The tears unnerved Vincent. He had been so sure that none of the others would care this much about him. As he got shakily to his feet he noticed Cloud and Nanaki standing a few yards away, both of them glaring at him angrily. Vincent took a step back, intending to run, but his heel caught on something and suddenly he was falling. He landed with a disgusting squelch in a pile of Hellmasker's leftovers. _Welcome to my life_, he thought darkly as he struggled to free himself.

Warm, strong hands clasped his and pulled him to his feet. Vincent stared into Cid's stormy blue eyes and cringed inwardly. The pilot looked pissed and Vincent didn't have the strength to fight back anymore. His body was shaking with exhaustion. Highwind noticed his trembling and muttered something colorful under his breath before sweeping the gunman's legs from under him and lifting him up as though he were a bride. Vincent closed his eyes tightly as his head fell onto Cid's shoulder. "Yer a damn fool." The pilot snapped.

"Perhaps." Vincent whispered. He certainly felt like one at the moment. The trembling in his body eased somewhat as Cid carried him through the forest that had been his hunting ground for almost a year. He heard Highwind speaking to the others, but his words were garbled. The ex-Turk was losing consciousness rapidly, which scared him because he had no idea if when the darkness overtook him he would be able to hold back the demons. Oddly enough, though, they were quiet. There were soft mutters in the back of his mind then came Galian Beast's soft chuckle. Vincent calmed, hearing his favorite demon's voice for the first time in months was a balm to his soul.

**_'Sleep Host.'_** The wolf-like demon whispered. **_'We like this one.'_**

* * *

Cid almost jumped in surprise when Vincent suddenly went limp in his arms. He'd been having to basically fight the gunman with each step for the past few minutes so he almost fell when he suddenly quieted. He looked down at his friend's bloodstained face and felt a thrill of fear race up his spine. The eyes looking up at him were no longer crimson. They were a bright blue-violet...the color of one of Vincent's demons. **_"We are letting the Host sleep"_** A deep, growling voice issued from behind the collar of Vincent's cloak. **_"We like the one that smells of the sky so we will allow these liberties you take with us, but we will kill the others. If they wish to remain living they will stay away. Tell them flying man."_** Cid nodded dumbly as those odd eyes closed and Vincent's head fell against his shoulder.

"Well shit." He muttered. The pilot had sent Cloud and Nanaki to retrieve Vincent's belongings from the cave so he was alone on his trek back to the _Highwind_. Part of him wanted to grin in pride at the knowledge that the demons wouldn't attack him and only him. Another part was terrified, but mostly he was just shocked. The last time Vincent had opened up to him about the demon's was to tell him that they didn't like _anyone_. All they wanted him to do was kill everyone around him and it took all his strength just to stay in control. What had changed for them? Why did they suddenly like him? Was it a lie? He'd read somewhere that demons lied to lure humans into traps...but if that demon had been lying, why did he warn Cid to keep the others away? The pilot shook his head with a growl, pushing the confusing thoughts from his mind. He would take Vincent to his Captain's quarters, get him cleaned up, and then let him sleep.

It was only a few minutes later that he came to the rope ladder leading up to his ship. Cid hefted Vincent onto his shoulder then began to climb. They'd been unable to find a clearing large enough to land the _Highwind_ in so the large airship was set to hovering just above the treeline. It wasn't an ideal position, but it had been the only way to get close to Cloud's position. It was a struggle on his 36 year old body to climb the ladder while carrying Vincent, who was basically dead weight, but Cid managed to get into the ship without falling to his death. He laid his burden on the floor of the cargo bay as he took a moment to catch his breath and give his trembling and strained muscles a break. Vincent wasn't very heavy, but carrying an unconscious person was difficult.

When he heard Nanaki and Cloud on the ladder Cid scrambled to his feet. If what that demon had said was true he couldn't let his other friends be in Vincent's presence or their lives would be in danger. He lifted the prone gunman back into his arms and sprinted to his quarters. Once onside he slammed the door shut and locked it then took a deep breath and carried Vincent into his bathroom. There was no way in hell he was going to let the ex-Turk sleep covered in all that blood for another minute. His heart pounded wildly in his chest as he set Vincent on the floor and reached with shaking hands to undo the straps on his cloak. Cid had never seen Vincent without it. No one had. No one knew what Vincent looked like beneath all his defenses. Well that was about to change. Cid fumbled with the buckles, but finally managed to get the cloak open. He attacked the headband next, pulling it away from Vincent's face with a small smirk. It was sort of like unwrapping a present in a way and he gasped down at the beauty of his prize. Even covered in blood it was easy to see.

He shook himself and began unbuckling the leather armor Vincent wore. Flakes of dried and still congealing blood covered his hands as he pulled the leather off, but he ignored the part of his mind that began shrieking in disgust. Beneath the armor Vincent wore a sleeveless black shirt and form fitting black pants. Cid almost laughed at how many layers he was having to peel away from his friend. He took this opportunity to inspect the golden gauntlet on Vincent's left arm. As he looked it over he realized that the damn thing was removable. He thumbed the catch that kept the gauntlet on and watched it fall to the floor with a satisfying clank. Damn thing was a nuisance. He slid the black glove that had been underneath off Vincent's hand and promptly forgot how to breathe.

If Cid didn't know any better he would have believed what he saw was geostigma. The skin of Vincent's hand, from the tips of his fingers all the way up to about the midpoint of his forearm was completely black. Cid had seen something similar on a man who had gotten frostbite, but he'd never seen _anything_ exactly like Vincent's arm. There was a luminescent sheen to the blackened skin that was almost hypnotizing. The pilot sat there just staring before a knock at his door broke through his haze. He quickly got to his feet and ran to the door. "Who's there?"

"Its Cloud, let me in."

"I can't kiddo." Cid took a deep breath then related what the demon had said to him to the younger man. "I'm just gonna git 'im cleaned up an' into bed. Let my crew know where ya wanna go."

"Alright, but...be _careful_ Cid." The swordsman's voice was heavy with concern. "Vincent isn't right in the head, I don't think he ever was...not since whatever Hojo did to him, but he's lost what control he-"

"I'll be careful." Cid didn't want to hear the rest of what Cloud had to say. "Besides, Vin an' I have always gotten along." There was a heavy sigh from the other side of the door.

"Fine, but remember to call if you need anything. Oh, I almost forgot. Nanaki and I put Vincent's belongings in his old room."

"Thanks." Cid replied then listened for a moment as Cloud's footsteps receded down the corridor beyond his door. He then turned and went back to where he'd left Vincent. The raven-haired man hadn't moved. Cid walked past him to fill the tub with water. After making sure it wasn't too hot he returned to Vincent's side to remove the rest of his clothes. He started with the thick leather boots and as he removed the last scrap of clothing form the gunman he gasped yet again. Vincent's skin was a sickly pale and covered in scars from his neck down to even his feet. The pilot felt like crying again. It was obvious from the placement of some of the scars that they were from Hojo's experiments and torture. He quickly lifted Vincent and placed him in the warm water filling the tub. Cid wondered, as he washed the blood from the ex-Turk's body, how he was going to help his friend. Seeing the scars covering his physical body made the blonde wonder what scars were hidden behind those pained crimson eyes.

* * *

Vincent was floating through the darkness of his mind trying to wake up. Galian and the others were silent, but he couldn't help but feel as though their silence was only temporary. He wouldn't put it past them to be waiting for him to awaken and see what they had done to his old comrades. He'd never thought of them as friends...well most of them anyway. Highwind was the only one of them who hadn't shown fear after his first transformation four years ago when they'd woken him from his thirty year sleep. Cid had actually asked him if he was alright and since then Vincent had felt a softness towards the blonde. He was different from the others in a way that made the gunman feel safe enough to open up a little to him. It was for that reason that he had stayed away. He couldn't bear it if he killed the only man to ever try to be his friend.

Consciousness slowly returned to him. Vincent opened his eyes and felt a shock of fear shoot through him. He wasn't in his cave, nor was he in the forest. He knew where he was and he _really_ didn't want to be there. Cid's ship was the last place on Gaia that he wanted to be. '**_Calm yourself Host.'_** Galian's voice washed over his mind.

_ 'No kill.'_ Hellmasker sounded sad.

**_'Quiet fool.'_** Vincent almost smiled at the Beast's growl. Galian had always been protective of him and it was nice to finally hear his voice again. He had been oddly silent since Chaos's departure. **_'We must apologize for that, Host. Chaos put us to sleep when you forced him to depart our mind.'_**

'I was afraid you had left me.' Vincent admitted silently.

**_'Even if we wanted to we would not, Host.'_** Galian replied affectionately. **_'We have been through much together. Now you must rest. We will keep the brainless ones quiet.' _**Vincent did smile slightly at that.

'Thank you.' He felt the wolf's warm embrace as he settled back into sleep. Damn Chaos. The bastard had always been trying his damndest to force Vincent to descend into madness. By quieting Galian, who was oddly the only voice of reason in his head, it had allowed the others to take control. For the first few months Vincent hadn't even noticed the absence of Gailian's voice, but as more time went on he had begun to get scared. Without the Beast's help he couldn't control the others, which was something he had always taken for granted. So with his mind his own again for the first time in months the gunman finally relaxed and slept like the dead.

**A/N:** In case anyone is confused or wondering why Galian refers to himself as 'we' I will explain. When I started writing him I was wondering what I wanted him to sound/be like. I decided that Vincent needed a voice of reason in his head so I wanted to make one of his demons be kind of fond of him. I chose Galian because I got this idea that before he was inside Vincent's head he was basically Demon royalty and the leader of his own clan. In a lot of anime and manga I have read some of the queens and kings would refer to themselves as 'we' instead of 'I'. Hence his more formal way of speaking.


	3. Broken

**A/N:** I hate what uploading my documents does to the format. I now have to go in and fix a bunch of my stories

**Chapter Three: Broken  
**

It had been three days since they'd found Vincent and Cid's PHS was blowing up with calls from his friends wondering how the demon infested man was doing. "Sleepin' still." He snapped and hung up on Cloud. The swordsman had been calling at least twice a day. Cid didn't understand what the spiky haired prick was so uptight about. "Prolly all butt hurt 'cuz the demons don' like 'im." The pilot chuckled as he walked towards his rooms to check on his sleeping friend.

Vincent hadn't woken once in the three days he had been on the ship, which was worrisome, but none of his demons had taken control either. Cid took that as a good sign and whistled quietly to himself as he walked into his room. "Hey Vinnie, ya awake yet?" He leaned over his friend's peaceful face, resisting the sudden urge to kiss him. He had a feeling that would not go over well no matter what that demon had said. Liberties indeed. He'd only been carrying Vincent to the ship. If he _really_ wanted to take liberties... he gasped as Vincent's crimson eyes opened.

"Vincent." The gunman whispered roughly. "How...many times do I have to tell you?" Cid grinned. This had always been his favorite game. He had always loved teasing the older man and his relief at finding him alive was making him giddy.

"Aw, ya know I like ta tease." The pilot laughed as he straightened then sat on the edge of the bed. "How ya feelin'?" Something flickered behind the other man's crimson eyes, too briefly for Cid to recognize.

"Rested." Vincent said after a moment. His voice was still rough, but it sounded stronger than it had been a few days ago.

"I'd hope so." Cid smiled. "Ya been sleepin' for three days." Vincent's eyes widened in shock.

"I haven't changed...have I?" There was fear deep in his eyes. Cid shook his head.

"Nope." The pilot grinned. "Seems as though yer demons like me, hell if I know why."

"You smell good." Vincent said absently as his eyes moved about the room.

"Huh?" Cid said stupidly. He smelled good? A light blush appeared on Vincent's face as the other man realized what he'd said and he carefully kept his eyes averted. "Yerself thinks I smell good or _they_ do?" The gunman's only response, if it could be considered that, was to slowly sit up and turn so that they were facing each other. The blankets pooled around his waist and Cid was glad that he had put some of his own clothes on the man before putting him in bed. A naked Vincent was the last thing he needed to see right now. It was difficult enough for him just being able to see the other man's entire face. There was a softness to it despite the emotionless expression it held that had Cid's gaze transfixed. Warmth flooded through him and a blush stained his cheeks as he realized he was staring at Vincent's lips. He quickly looked away and tried to calm his rapidly beating heart.

"You smell like the sky." Vincent's soft voice surprised him making him jump slightly. Cid hadn't been expecting the man to speak. It had always been a rare occurrence, although when Vincent spoke he usually had something important to say. He was a man used to silence. The pilot raised his eyes to Vincent's and was surprised again when the older man leaned forward to rest his forehead against the blonde's shoulder. "The scent is...soothing." His voice was barely audible so Cid almost didn't catch what he had said. When he did he stopped resisting the urge to wrap his arms around the incredibly thin man beside him.

* * *

Vincent froze as Highwind's arms surrounded him, pulling the gunman against his chest. It had been so long since someone had held him like this that he didn't know what to do. His sensitive nose was smothered in the pilot's scent. It was intoxicating yet oddly helped him to relax. There was safety here, he realized. The demons in his mind were completely silent. There were no screams or commands to kill...nothing. It was like his mind was his own again even though he could feel them lurking on the outskirts. Vincent allowed his body to relax against Highwind's warm chest and breathed in deeply. _Just for now_, he told himself, _I can accept this comfort._ He felt gentle fingers running through his hair and let his eyes fall closed, enjoying the sensations. What was this man _doing_ to him? He could feel all his defense falling away. The walls he had built both around his heart and himself were beginning to crumble...all for this one man, Cid Highwind. Shouldn't he pull away, what if he lost control again? The demons were quiet now, but how much longer would they put up with this? Why was his heart telling him to stay?

_** 'Listen to your instincts, Host.'**_ Galian's deep voice rumbled in his mind. _**'Humans are not meant to be alone.'**_

'I am not human.' Vincent replied mentally.

_**'You are as human as the man who smells of the sky. We and the mindless ones are not.'**_ Galian said fondly, then retreated back into Vincent's mind. The ex-Turk kept his eyes closed as he mulled over what the beast had said.

"You ok Vince?" Highwind asked, his voice filled with concern. Vincent didn't know how to respond. Ever since waking up in the basement of the Shinra mansion words normally failed him. It had become difficult to express himself, more so even than when he was still a Turk. The weight of his sins had been heavy on his shoulders and even though he had atoned for some of them he still felt as though he didn't deserve the friendship or care of someone...well _anyone_ really. Galian said that humans aren't meant to be alone, but did someone such as Vincent, who had lost the only woman he'd ever loved to a mad scientist, deserve a second chance? What if he failed Highwind as well? _Listen to my instincts?_ What did that even mean? "Vince?" The gunman opened his eyes and looked up at Highwind.

"What does it mean to listen to one's instincts?" Vincent asked, hoping the other man might know the answer. A startled look crossed the blonde pilot's face, then his brow furrowed in thought.

"Well, I s'pose it means listenin' ta what yer heart says, stead'a listenin ta yer head." Highwind said after a while. "Like when I hugged ya, my mind said that were a bad idea, but my heart said ya needed one." He looked down at Vincent. "Why ya askin' all o' a sudden?" There was a pink flush to the pilot's face that Vincent found endearing and suddenly he wanted to tell Highwind all that Galian had said. He sat up, pulling away from the younger man, and was about to speak...until he saw his left hand. The blackened skin stood out against the white blankets.

"Where is my glove?" His voice was cold and he saw Highwind flinch at his tone.

"It were covered in blood." The pilot replied in a quiet voice. "I got it cleaned, tho', i'll go get it." Highwind stood and left the room quickly. Vincent grabbed part of the blanket and wrapped it around his hand and arm, fighting back the urge to vomit. It was then that he noticed the rest of his clothing. He wore a soft gray t-shirt and dark-blue flannel pants. Both pieces of clothing hung off his thin frame making him look like a child who was wearing their father's clothes. The scars on his arms stood out against the paleness of his skin. Vincent shuddered in revulsion. There was a reason he wore so much clothing.

It took ten minutes for Highwind to return. He walked in carrying a black glove in one hand...a glove that wasn't Vincent's. "I musta left yer glove back in Rocket Town." The pilot said apologetically, rubbing the back of his head. "I asked Shera to get yer stuff cleaned, then I had ta take the others home." He held the glove out to Vincent. The gunman hesitantly reached out to take it. He turned his body away from the other man before unwrapping his arm and sliding the glove on. It fit him perfectly. He stared at it for a moment. The glove was made from a soft leather, and reached almost to his elbow. Intricate thread-work decorated the material, making it obvious that the glove belonged to a woman, probably one of Highwind's crew. Guilt pricked at the ex-Turk's conscience.

"Thank you." He said softly, unable to look the other man in the eye. He felt the bed sink as the ship's captain sat down next to him. Vincent bent his neck so that his hair fell forward, hiding himself further from the pilot's gaze. He stared at his hands, one pale and scarred the other black and disgusting under the leather glove. How could Highwind even stand to be near someone as ugly as he was? He gasped in surprise as warm hands caressed his face before forcing him to turn so that he was looking into stormy blue eyes.

"Why do ya hide?" Highwind whispered. Vincent wanted to pull away, but was unable. He was caught by the look in the other man's eyes.

"Don't look at me." Vincent heard his own voice plead weakly.

* * *

Cid's eyes widened at the plea and the pained look in Vincent's eyes. It was at that moment that he realized why the older man covered himself so thoroughly. The gunman was repulsed by his own body. The pilot was stunned by the revelation. Vincent had always hid himself an kept his distance from everyone, but Cid had never understood why until now. Without thinking he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Vincent's. The other man gasped in surprise, his body going stiff, but instead of pulling away Cid deepened the kiss. He slid his tongue through the ex-Turks parted lips moaning softly. He'd been dreaming of this moment for years, but none of his imaginings compared to the feel and taste of reality. Vincent's mouth was sweet and warm. The scent of him was dark with a hint of spice. His skin was smooth under Cid's hands. Only the need for air made him pull away, panting slightly.

"Yer beautiful." The blonde whispered against Vincent's kiss swollen lips. He heard the gunman's breath hitch in his throat and looked up to see tears slipping silently down pale cheeks. Vincent's eyes were closed. When they opened Cid was blindsided by the raw emotion filling their crimson depths. He'd never seen anything so beautiful his entire life and he was rendered completely speechless.

"No." Vincent's voice shook him from his stupor. "I am disgusting...forever tainted-"

"Shut it." Cid growled not wanting to hear his friend's self-hatred any longer. "Yer none of those things ya think ya are. So what if ya got scars or demons in yer head. That don' change how I feel about ya." He softened his tone as he continued. "I love you." Vincent's eyes went wide in shock. "I have fer a while." The pilot went on. "That's why I never gave up on ya bein' alive." Vincent made a small sound of anguish and seemed to collapse in on himself. Cid pulled the smaller man into his arms and rocked him gently as harsh sobs racked his thin frame. He ran his fingers through Vincent's soft hair and let him cry. He had a feeling that it had been a long time since the older man had allowed himself to.

"Why?" Vincent asked brokenly. "I don't deserve your kindness, or love."

"S'that what ya think o' yerself?!" Cid gasped then growled irritably. "I don' much care fer that kinda thinkin'." He forced Vincent to look at him. "I don' think I know _anyone_ who deserves love more'n you. Ya been through hell, Vince, give yerself a break. Yer only human." Vincent froze. Before he could blink Cid found himself on his back with Vincent on top of him, straddling his waist and his hands pinning the pilot by the shoulders.

"Am I still human?" The raven haired man asked. His voice held a touch of hope.

"Of course ya are." Cid felt confused. "Why wouldn't ya be?"

"I do not feel human." The other man replied. "I cannot die and am a host for demons. I will never age as humans do, Highwind. How can I still be human?" Cid felt slightly overwhelmed by the ex-Turk's words, but he smiled and reached up to gently brush a tear from Vincent's cheek. It amazed him that even after crying, the older man's skin still held no color.

"This proves it." Cid said smugly, showing Vincent the wetness on his thumb. "Demons don' cry, only humans do." The gunman was silent for a long time, just staring down at him. Cid suddenly became aware of their positions. He could feel Vincent against his groin and tried very hard to ignore the sensations running through him.

* * *

Vincent stared down at Highwind. The words he had spoken were ones that he had wanted to hear for so long. _Yer only human_. It was the first time since waking from a thirty year sleep that he had heard those words from someone other than a demon. To the others he had always been 'the vampire'. "Uh, Vince, you might want to get off now." The gunman shook his head. He knew why the pilot had made the suggestion. He could smell the other man's arousal, could feel it, hard and throbbing, beneath him. Vincent rocked his hips and inhaled deeply as the scent in the air thickened. Cid groaned, his body arching as pleasure coursed through him. The ex-Turk decided that he was going to 'follow his instincts'. He leaned down and captured the younger man's mouth with his. Highwind gasped, his hands going to the gunman's hips. Vincent slid his own hands up to tangle his fingers in the other's hair.

"Captain! There's a storm approaching!" A panicked voice over the ship's intercom system startled both men. Vincent immediately slid off of the pilot knowing that he was needed by his crew. The younger man growled something unintelligible and got to his feet.

"Don't ya dare move." He snapped, pointing a finger at the man still on the bed. "This discussion ain't finished." Vincent nodded solemnly and watched him storm out of the room angrily.


	4. Revelations

**Chapter Four: Revelations  
**

Cid stomped on to the bridge and froze, staring out the window in front of him. Angry black clouds covered the sky as far as the eye could see. "Where are we?" He asked James, who was sitting behind the flight controls.

"About an hour from Rocket Town, but that storm looks like a doozy."

"Yup." Cid ran a hand through his hair. "We're gonna have ta set 'er down." James stood to let the ship's captain take over. "Ella, what's below us?"

"A forest, Captain." The woman at the radar screen replied. "If you go east about ten klicks there's a field big enough to land in."

"Alright." Cid took hold of the controls and turned the _Highwind_ towards the east. He spotted the field in moments and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that it wasn't farmed. He'd hate to ruin someone else's livelihood while trying to save his own. He was able to land the large ship with little difficulty and just in time. As soon as he was down the clouds rolled in and icy sleet slammed into the window.

"Nice job Captain!" Ella grinned.

"Why thank ya." The pilot grinned back then stood and stretched. "Well you kids take it easy, this storm looks like its gonna last a while. I'm gonna go check on Vince." As he turned to leave he felt a hand on his arm. He glanced back to see Ella standing there looking up at him shyly.

"Did that glove I gave you help?" She asked.

"Fits 'im perfect." Cid smiled. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." The girl smiled back. "How is he doing?"

"Better, I think." He sighed remembering the pain Vincent had been in. "He's got a lot on 'is mind...none a it good."

"You should tell him how you feel." Ella told him in a rush.

"I did. It kinda put 'im in shock." The pilot laughed then ruffled his navigator's red hair. "Go get some rest kid." She nodded and skipped off happily. Cid began walking back to his quarters. Just as he neared his door the PHS in his pocket began to ring. Heaving a sigh, he dug it out and answered. "Hello Cloud."

"Valentine awake yet?" The swordsman asked.

"Yeah, Vince woke up a bit ago."

"How is he?" Cloud asked, a note of dread in his voice. Cid hated that tone. He hated that the others were all scared of Vincent.

"He's _human, _Cloud." The pilot growled.

"No he isn't Cid, you know that."

"Yer a damn fool Strife, and ya don' know nuthin'." He snarled then hung up. Before he walked into his room he took a moment to calm himself. When he opened the door the first thing he noticed was the empty bed. He frowned, stepping forward and shutting the door behind him.

"You do not have to defend my humanity, or lack there of, to Strife or anyone, Highwind." A deep voice whispered to his left. Cid turned to find Vincent standing in the doorway of the bathroom.

"My name is Cid ya know." The pilot pouted.

"Once you begin calling _me_ by my given name I will use yours...Chief." The gunman replied, a touch of amusement in his voice.

"Fine _Vincent_." Cid growled good naturedly. "I still say its too stuffy."

"I am over sixty years old." Vincent replied with a small smile. Cid blinked at him in shock. He'd known Vincent was almost thirty years older than him so that was no surprise. It was the smile that rendered him incapable of speaking. He just watched dumbly as the other man walked to the window and stared out at the storm. "I see that we have been grounded for the time being." Cid shook himself then walked over to stand next to Vincent.

"Yeah." He sighed then frowned as something occurred to him. "Are ya hungry? Ya haven' eaten fer a few days."

"I no longer need to eat to survive."

"So yer not hungry?"

"No...I have not felt hunger for a long time." A shudder passed through the taller man.

"You ok?" Cid asked worriedly.

"...not really."

"Wanna talk about it?" The pilot touched the other man's arm gently, but Vincent shook his head.

"I have many unpleasant memories." The gunman said quietly, his left hand was shaking. Cid pulled him into an embrace and ran a hand through his silken hair. He had his own share of things he'd rather not remember so he understood Vincent's reluctance to speak.

"If you ever do, wanna talk that is, I'm here for ya." He murmured. Thin arms wrapped around his waist in response making the blonde smile triumphantly. He was finally getting through to Vincent.

* * *

Vincent let his forehead drop to Highwind...no _Cid's_ shoulder. He felt as though he could be there forever. The safety, security, and warmth Cid's arms offered was addictive. He couldn't call what he felt for the younger man love, not yet, the feelings were too new. The pilot had been his only friend since leaving his coffin so he already had affection for him, but _love?_ Love was not something he thought about. Not since Lucrecia and now he knew that she hadn't loved him, not truly. He had been a way to pass the time for her, sure she had _liked_ him and had felt guilty for what Hojo had put him through, but she hadn't loved him. That knowledge was what had finally allowed Vincent to let her go. No longer did the desire he felt for her burn in his body. He did miss the times they had shared together. He had been happy then...well as happy as he had ever been in the tragedy that was his life.

For the past year he had been praying for death to come and take him. The pain he felt in his soul had been overwhelming him and with his sins atoned for he'd wanted to end it all. The deep guilt he had woken to in this new life was still there, but not as strong. He'd helped to stop the monster Sephiroth had become and had rid the world of Chaos, so now what purpose did his life serve? Could he be content to watch as Cid grew old and died while he remained? He hadn't lied when he'd told Cid that he would never age. Hojo had killed him then brought life back into his empty shell. Now he no longer needed to eat and was unable to die. The demons kept his body alive and his mind on the brink of madness...well all except for Galian. He had become very fond of the demon lord over the past few years. The beast had been his only defense against Chaos's torment and the unruly behavior of Death Gigas and Hellmasker. He wished there was a way he could repay the great wolf's kindness.

**_'There is, Host.'_ **Galian chuckled.

'How?'

**_'Allow yourself to be happy.' _**The beast replied. **_'We would return to our hunting ground so that you might have peace, but we cannot be separated from the Host. It is our punishment for going against the great Lords of Hell. We do not regret our past, nor do we regret becoming part of the Host and at this moment our only wish is for you to become strong. To do that you must accept what you are.'_**

'Which is?' Vincent asked mentally, humbled by what his demon was saying.

**_'Human.'_** He could feel Galian smiling. **_'You are only human.'_** Vincent felt a smile touch his lips as the great beast's presence retreated.

"Ya feelin' better now?" Cid's voice startled him, but he didn't lift his head.

"Yes." The gunman replied then straightened and stepped away from the pilot. For a long moment they just stood there. Vincent was trying to work up the courage to talk to his friend about what was going on in his mind, but was having difficulty getting the words out. He didn't even know where to start.

**'HUUUNNNGGGRRYYYY!'** Vincent winced as Death Gigas roared in his mind. He put a hand to his head and stumbled back until he hit the wall. He felt himself falling to the floor as the demon continued to roar angrily. How long had it been since he had hunted? Almost a week...damn, even Galian would be unable to control the giant if he waited much longer.

"Vince?!" Cid was kneeling in front of him hands reaching out.

"Don't..." Vincent hissed, slapping the other man's hands away. The pilot looked hurt as he let his hands fall to his sides. "Touching...aggravates him." He managed to gasp out. The pain in his head was increasing steadily. "I...need to..." The gunman felt something wet on his face and Cid's look of shocked horror. At first he thought he was crying again...but then he smelled the blood. "Damn." He whispered then struggled to his feet and began stumbling to the door. "No...time." Vincent ignored Cid's cries as he began to run. He needed to get off the ship fast, otherwise his only friend and the crew of the _Highwind_ would become the Gigas's next meal.

* * *

Cid swore he would give up smoking as he ran after Vincent. For a spindly little guy the man ran awfully fast. He finally managed to catch up to the gunman on the second level's balcony, but could only watch in horror as Vincent threw himself over the railing and into the raging storm. "VINCE!" He screamed running to the railing. He heard a deafening roar and saw a giant figure running towards the nearby forest."Death Gigas." He whispered in shock. Jesus, if that thing had gotten loose on his ship... "Damn." The pilot swore. That's why Vincent had pushed him away. Cid ran back into the ship now thoroughly drenched. As he raced down the corridors of the ship towards his room he wondered what he was going to do.

He couldn't go after Vincent, not with the storm still raging, but he didn't know if he could stay locked up in his room either. Cid also wondered if Cloud had been right to be worried about him...no. He shook his head. Vincent had realized what was happening to him and tried to warn him. He hadn't understood, though, so the gunman had run. He'd actually thrown himself off the ship to keep from hurting Cid or his crew. The blonde now knew why Vincent had stayed away...the demons were trying to take over.

Cid slowed as he reached his door then opened it and, after closing it behind him, began stripping off his wet clothes. He left them in a pile near his door and walked into his bathroom. What the hell was he going to do? The pilot glared at his reflection in the mirror then got into the shower. The first thing he needed to do was get warm. He hadn't noticed his own trembling and chattering teeth since he'd been so focused on thoughts of Vincent, but now he could feel the deep chill he'd received from the icy sleet of the storm.

As the hot water did its work his thoughts drifted back to the man he loved. It had been difficult, in the beginning of their acquaintance, to get the man to speak about anything personal. Cid had gleaned a few things here and there about what had happened to him before being placed in that coffin, mostly from Lucrecia. He knew that Hojo had experimented on him and perhaps tortured him just for the hell of it. He also knew that Vincent had loved Lucrecia, had even tried to save her, but the woman had turned from him and created Sephiroth with the demented Hojo. Cid didn't know if Vincent still blamed himself for what had happened, but he hoped that he didn't. None of it had been his fault. Lucrecia had made her own damn choices and because of them Hojo had got his disgusting hands on Vincent and made the man what he was today.

For the longest time Cid had thought Vincent didn't have emotions since he hid them so well, but it was becoming increasingly apparent that the gunman just didn't know how to express them. For all his eloquence when speaking about a matter unrelated to him, words utterly failed the man when trying to speak about something that was bothering him. Cid had never had that problem. He was loud and crass and generally said what ever the hell he wanted. Most people were put off by it. The only ones who stuck around were the people who could see through all his bluster.

Cid sighed heavily and turned off the water then stepped out of the shower and began drying himself off. Worry over Vincent gnawed at him leaving a sour feeling in his gut. With another sigh he walked over to his dresser and snatched up his cigarettes. He hadn't been smoking as much lately because he wanted to quit, but the stress was just too great right now. He lit one up then set about getting dressed. Once clothed he headed toward the bridge. If he sat there he could keep an eye out for Vincent. He just prayed that the man would come back.


	5. Changes

**A/N: **And here is where we get to see a little Tifa loving. Some stories I've read make her out to be a bitch, but from what I remember she's actually pretty nice, a bad ass, and pretty perceptive. So here's my version lol. Enjoy!

**Chapter Five: Changes  
**

Cloud was worried. He hadn't heard from Cid in a few days. The pilot wasn't answering his calls and he'd talked to Shera, who had told him that neither Cid nor the _Highwind_ had made it back to Rocket Town yet. The last she'd heard from the crew was that they'd had to make an emergency landing because of a storm...that had been two days ago. The swordsman decided to talk to Tifa. They had been living together for almost two years now and even though he knew she wanted more from their relationship he wasn't sure if he had more to give. Their friendship was an easy one. Tifa never hid things from him and she always talked straight. She was one of the only people who would tell him if she thought he was being an idiot so he wanted to see if she thought his worries were unfounded. He found her in the bar cleaning tables.

"Hey Teef, can I talk to you?" He asked uncomfortably. Cloud was still trying to get used to talking about his feelings and things that were bothering him so he was always nervous about it. Tifa had made a promise with him that she would always be willing to sit down and talk with him and would make sure to understand what he was saying before jumping to conclusions because she knew that he had trouble expressing himself appropriately.

"Of course!" The brunette smiled warmly at him. "Just let me put this stuff away." He nodded and followed her into the kitchen where she set a few glasses in the sink then tossed her cleaning rag onto the counter. "What's up?" Cloud took a deep breath then told her everything that had happened with Vincent and his worries that Cid might be in danger. After he was finished he bit his lips and stared at the floor. "Well it sounds to me like Cid was mad about you saying Vincent isn't human-"

"He's _not_!" Cloud cried then fell silent at the glare Tifa leveled on him.

"Vincent is as human as you and I Cloud." She said sternly. "What happened to him isn't his fault and you know it. Unless you've forgotten what Hojo did to _you_." Cloud cringed and shook his head. "I thought not." The fighter frowned at him. "I would think that you of all people would have some sympathy for what he's going through."

"But he threatened to-"

"No, one of his _demons_ did." Tifa cut him off. "Vincent would never hurt any of us intentionally. He saved your life for Planet's sake." She sighed. "I understand that you are worried that harm may have come to Cid, but you have to realize that Vincent is also struggling. From what you've told me it sounds as though he stayed away to protect us. If he's lost control over his demons then we need to _help_ him, not shun him." Cloud looked up at her in wonder. He'd always been afraid of Vincent and the man's demons and he'd always thought Tifa was the same, but it seemed as though that wasn't the case. "Let me try calling Cid, he might still be mad at you and ignoring your calls. If he doesn't answer then we will go find them, okay?" She put her hands on his shoulders and gave them a little squeeze before turning to where her PHS sat charging n the counter.

The fighter gave him a small smile as she dialed Cid's number. Wonder of wonders the man actually answered. "Hey Cid, Cloud told me what happened I..." She trailed off with a frown. "No, I just wanted to make sure _both_ of you were ok. It sounds like Vincent is having a hard time right now...I know...I agree with you Cid, he _is_ human, as I've just been explaining to Cloud..." She fell silent again listening with the honed focus she had that Cloud had always loved. "Is there anything we can do to help? I don't like the thought of him out there all alone again. It isn't right...Ok, let me call Barret and Yuffie. They're here in town...no Cid it will be fine. We'll all help you find Vincent...I know you love him Cid that's why I want to help, well that and I have always considered him a friend...ok, see you in a few hours." With a heavy sigh she hung up then turned to Cloud, who had frozen on the word love. Cid _loved_ Vincent? He shook himself, no use wondering what that meant right now.

"What happened?" He asked worriedly.

"Vincent is missing. During the storm one of his demons started to take over so he ran off into the forest, but he hasn't come back yet and Cid can't find him on his own. We need to go get Barret and Yuffie then charter a flight to the _Highwind_. Cid will send us the coordinates." Tifa ran a hand through her hair then began calling their friends. Cloud ran upstairs to get their things together.

He was glad he'd talked to Tifa. She put things in a whole new perspective for him and he realized that he owed Vincent an apology. The swordsman hated that he hadn't seen or understood what the stoic gunman was going through. He had been blinded by his fear and anger...and immaturity. It was hard to accept being in the wrong, or the fact that he'd been childish. Life with Tifa had humbled him. She was teaching him that feelings were okay, even if they were hard to accept, and that it was how he _acted_ on those feelings that really mattered. The brunette woman wasn't like Aerith, who'd had only kind words for everyone, she was more real. Tifa was very open and loving, but wouldn't hesitate to slap someone upside the head if she thought they were being stupid and he cared for her a lot. He wasn't sure if it was love, but he knew that he would have a hard time living without her.

A small smile found its way to his lips as he packed some clothes for her. It was strange, but made him feel good that he knew what she'd want. They'd gotten closer after she'd finally convinced him to be more open and honest about what he was thinking or feeling and in return she had told him of her love. She loved him as more than a friend and told him that she was content with their platonic relationship despite the pain he knew she felt. A one sided love was hard and he wanted desperately to be able to return her feelings, but he didn't know if he could. He had strong feelings for her and until he knew if it was love or not he wouldn't say anything.

* * *

Tifa stretched as she climbed off the charter plane. It had landed a short ways from the _Highwind_ and she could see Cid's blonde head near the landing struts of his beloved airship. She returned his wave as she grabbed the pack Cloud was handing to her then the four of them jogged over to their friend. "How are you?" She asked worriedly, giving the pilot a warm hug.

"Fuckin' out a my mind worryin' about Vince." He replied gruffly.

"Cid...I owe you an apology." Cloud said quietly from behind her. Tifa held back a smile as she stepped out of the way. She was happy that she had been able to get through to him. "I didn't really understand what he was going through...and I admit I was scared and angry. I said a lot of things because of that and I'm sorry." She watched Cid relax. He'd tensed up when he'd heard Cloud's voice and had been glaring at him.

"Apology accepted, now how 'bout ya help me find 'im."

"That's why we're here!" Yuffie exclaimed. "We gotta find Vinnie!"

"Not sure if we _should._" Barret grumbled. "Fuckin' vamp's-"

"Don' ya fuckin' call 'im that." Cid snarled angrily. Tifa turned to glare at Barret.

"Go get back on the plane if you don't want to help. Vincent needs us right now, but if you're too pig-headed to understand that then just leave." She snapped angrily. "I am so sick of the attitude both you and Cloud have had towards Vincent. I already had a talk with Cloud so he knows this, but _you_..." She jabbed Barret in the chest with her index finger. "You have a lot to learn mister. Have you _any_ idea what Vincent is going through right now? He's lost in those woods alone and probably terrified. He may even be injured and here you are being an asshole about it." She glared up into the huge man's startled eyes. "How would you feel if you were in his place? How would you feel if being near Marlene put her in danger because of some experiment a madman performed on _you_?" Barret paled. "Barret, he's human just like us. He feels the same things we do...he just doesn't know how to express it. No one has taught him, or given him a chance. I know that I'm not perfect and I was scared of him for a while, but after hearing about his past I realized that he doesn't need to be feared...he needs our help." She huffed slightly and turned back to Cid. "So how should we do this?" The older man blinked at her then burst out laughing.

"Yer an amazin' woman Tif." He sighed once he'd calmed down. "I 'preciate yer concern for Vince and yer right. He _does_ need our help." She smiled warmly at him. She'd known for a while about his feelings for Vincent, though she'd never said anything. It had been so obvious to her in the weeks after the gunman's disappearance. Every time she had seen Cid since then he had seemed to be slipping further and further into a dark depression. It was good to hear him laughing again and see the light in his eyes.

* * *

Vincent came to himself surrounded by mutilated, half-eaten corpses. The sun was bright overhead making him cringe and cover his sensitive eyes. A sudden wave of nausea crashed through him, bringing him to his hands and knees in a pool of blood. He tried to hold it back, but then the scent of raw meat that had been baking in the sun filled his nostrils and he lost the battle. Chunks of flesh and bits of bone poured onto the ground in front of him as vomited violently. He could feel the jagged edges of the bones ripping through his esophagus and closed his eyes against the pain. The taste of his own blood on his tongue told him that his throat was being damaged, but he couldn't stop vomiting. Everything Gigas had eaten was being emptied from his stomach and that demon ate _a lot_.

When he finally finished Vincent dragged himself to his feet and stumbled away from the slaughter. He had no idea how long he had been out of it, but he knew it had been at least a day since the forest around him was dry. The storm that had been raging when he'd left the _Highwind_ had been a huge one and he knew from experience that it had probably lasted throughout the night. Storms like that usually did and it was the storm that had given Death Gigas the strength to break free from both his _and_ Galian's control. The giant demon loved hunting during storms since it strengthened and renewed him...Vincent wasn't so lucky.

He followed his nose to a small stream and began cleaning the blood from his skin. Somehow he'd lost the oversized shirt Cid had loaned him, but luckily he still had the pants and glove...Planet he was happy that glove was still there. He couldn't stand to look at the arm underneath, because every time he did the memories of what had happened would resurface, making him feel ill. He would remember the pain of the saw as Hojo cut the arm from him and the demented scientist's laughter as he held the limb above his head as he danced about the lab. Vincent closed his eyes with a shudder and forced his mind back to the task at hand.

He needed to get clean then he needed to find his way back to the airship. Cid would never forgive him if he didn't return...nor would Galian. He was beginning to understand why the great wolf wanted him to stay with the pilot. He felt much stronger with Cid around. When he'd left the room to go land the airship Vincent had almost panicked and he'd lost what little control he'd regained over the Gigas. It was an embarrassing realization, but the truth. He needed Cid in a way he'd never thought he'd need _anyone_. The blonde pilot made him feel as though life were worth living and Vincent now desperately wanted to live. He wanted to be happy even though he didn't know what it was like.

The closest he'd ever been to it was when he'd been living with Cid before the second coming of Sephiroth and Deepground. He'd had to leave though. Chaos had begun to try to take control of him so Vincent had run rather than hurt his only friend. Chaos had always been the hardest of his demons to control and Vincent's alliance with Galian had been shaky at best in the beginning. During their quest to defeat Sephiroth and destroy Meteor his trust in Galian grew. He was actually the gunman's first friend since waking and the only one of his demons that actually liked being trapped within him. The great wolf was tired of the constant warring in the demon world and was happy to lend Vincent his strength. The other three...not so much. They wanted out and Vincent would happily send the other two to Hell if he could...unfortunately they were a weird mix of multiple demons and Mako. Experiments that Hojo had created inside of a lab. A fact that they resented, but had no control over. Vincent could relate.

With a sigh the gunman stripped the glove and pants from his body and waded into the stream. It was damn cold but he soon warmed and as he washed the rest of the blood from his body and hair he began to feel better...more human. Once finished he got out of the water and back into the only clothing he had. The glove was still in perfect condition, but the pants were torn and bloody. Vincent grimaced as he put them slid them over his legs. They felt disgusting and smelled horrible, but beggars can't be choosers. He tied the string that went through the waistband as tight as he could then began walking.

He really didn't know which way to go so he decided to follow his nose. Towards the south he caught the faint scent of fuel and metal so he decided to go that way. He walked for an hour following the familiar smell. It was getting closer. A few minutes later he began to hear voices and froze. They were too far away to understand, but Vincent thought they sounded familiar. He frowned in indecision. Should he head towards them and put them in danger or should he skirt around and go back to the _Highwind?_ If it was who he thought it was they might be looking for him, which made him think that maybe he had been out here much longer than one day so he decided to take a chance. He carefully slipped from tree to tree until he found the people to whom the voices he'd heard belonged. His eyes widened in surprise. Barret stood with Cloud, Yuffie and Tifa in small circle. Unsurprisingly enough they were arguing.

"You saw that mess just like I did Tifa!" Barret yelled. "A _human_ couldn't a done that!"

"We've been over this before Barret. _Vincent is human_." The brunette woman replied angrily stressing each word to get her point across. "He didn't kill those creatures, Death Gigas did and you know that demon is a separate entity entirely." Vincent blinked in shock at her words while Galian rumbled appreciatively in his mind.

_**'We like this one as well Host.'**_

'I never knew Tifa felt that way.' The gunman responded mentally since he didn't want to alert the others of his presence.

"_You_ said you wanted to help us find him. If you've changed your mind then go back to the _Highwind_." Tifa snapped.

"Yeah, ya big meanie!" Yuffie cried.

"Shut up brat." The big man growled.

"This is getting us nowhere." Cloud finally exploded. Vincent was surprised that the man was even there, the last time they had spoken he'd...well Hellmasker had threatened his life. "We have to find Vincent, like Tifa said he could be hurt and-"

"Get off yer high horse Strife." Barret snapped. "You think he's a monster just like I do."

_**'Can we kill the fat one?'**_ Galian asked almost pleasantly.

'No.'

_**'Shame.' **_Vincent ignored him and focused his attention on Cloud.

"I..." The swordsman kicked at the ground looking ashamed. "I used to, but Tifa reminded me of something. Hojo experimented on him just like he did on me so what's happening to him isn't his fault."

"Yeah, but _you_ weren't brought back from the dead." Barret retorted. "Ya don't have a head full a demons either."

"He's not a monster Barret." Cloud growled.

"He shares head space with Chaos!" The gun-armed man shouted. "A demon who is bent on destroying the world!" Vincent had had enough.

"Chaos has been returned to the Planet." He said quietly as he stepped out into the open. If he still found humor in anything he would have laughed at their expressions, but after a while their stares began to make him feel uncomfortable. He knew they were staring at the scars covering his body. "Could one of you point me in the direction of the _Highwind?_" He asked politely. His voice was rough and his throat felt as though it were on fire. He just wanted to get back so that he could shower and get some sleep "I expect that Cid is-" He was cut off by arms wrapping around him from behind and almost smiled as Cid's familiar scent washed over him.

"I'm right here." The pilot mumbled into his back. He could hear the relief in Cid's voice and tried to smile as the younger man let go and walked around to face him. His lips twitched but refused to cooperate. "Let's get ya home." Vincent nodded and silently followed after his friend, refusing to meet the eyes of the other AVALANCHE members. He didn't want to see the pity or fear he knew was in them.

**A/N: **So I don't know a lot about Vincent's past, but I do know that having his arm cut off is canon. I just realized while writing this chapter that I didn't make it clear that his arm is a prosthetic. As part of my story, though, I wanted the claw to be removable. I looked up pictures of Vincent and in every single one that I found I noticed that he has a black glove on underneath the golden claw...well except for the screenshots of the original game. Because of that I decided that he would have a cybernetic hand instead of a clawed one. I'm sorry if some people don't like this idea, but I do and its my story so ;p lol


	6. Adversity

**Chapter Six: Adversity  
**

Cid gave Vincent some clothes then left him alone to take a shower. He walked back out of his room and down to the cargo area where the others had gathered. Tifa walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm glad we found him." She whispered softly in his ear before pulling away. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears. "How is he?"

"Not sure really." He muttered. "Didn' speak a goddamn word, but I spect he's just tired." Cid sighed. "Thanks fer comin' ta help find 'im."

"What'd he mean 'bout Chaos?" Barret rumbled.

"Chaos is gone." Cid replied, glaring at the huge man. He'd heard what the brute had been saying about Vincent and he was pretty sure the gunman had heard as well.

"How?"

"I dunno. Vince didn' talk much 'bout it." Cid growled. "An' don' ya go askin' 'bout it either. Man's been through fuckin' hell and he don' need no one stirrin' it up."

"How can ya all protect that monster?" Barret snapped. Cid wasn't aware that he had moved until his fist crashed into the bigger man's face.

"DON' FUCKIN' CALL HIM THAT YA BASTARD! He roared, breathing heavily. Barret stared up at him in shock. He'd been knocked to the floor by Cid's blow. The pilot was about to hit him again, but a gentle hand wrapped around his wrist. He looked back in surprise to find Vincent there, hair damp from his shower. He wore the clothes Cid had given him, which were entirely too large. It still shocked the blonde to see how skinny he was. The sweater hung off one of his shoulders and went down almost to his knees while the sleeves covered his hands. The soft flannel pants dragged on the floor. He looked slightly ridiculous, but also cute, which was not a word normally associated with the raven haired man.

"Let him think what he wishes." Vincent's deep voice sounded rough and it looked as though talking was painful. Cid noticed dark bruising around the other man's throat. "I have thought it myself more than once after all."

"B-but it ain't right." Cid stammered. "Yer not a monster."

"High..." Vincent's eyes closed for a moment then opened and met his gaze. "Cid, even I do not know what I am, whether that is human or not remains to be seen..." He trailed off and his eyes seemed to grow distant. "I do not think that is a good idea." He murmured under his breath.

"What ain't a good idea?" Cid asked in confusion. Vincent blinked as though startled by the question.

"I must be more tired than I thought...I was speaking to Galian."

"That one of yer demons?" Barret sneered, getting to his feet. Vincent cocked his head and blinked.

"Yes...he wishes me to tell you that your hatred of us is shared...not by me, by him." Yuffie snickered as Barret's face reddened. "I do not hate you Barret and I do not care that you hate me, but if peace is to be kept among friends you may want to keep your derogatory remarks about me to yourself." Vincent's voice was quiet and polite as always, but Cid could see a dull anger burning in his crimson eyes.

"What's that now, Vamp?" Barret growled.

"Cut it out Barret." Cloud snapped. The swordsman pushed past the huge man and walked up to Vincent. "I owe you an apology Vincent. I've been an ass. I didn't understand what you were going through and..." He trailed off, biting his lip. "I haven't been a good friend. For that I am sorry." Cid saw Vincent's face soften.

"Your apology is accepted Cloud, though I do not feel as if I needed one." The gunman replied bowing his head towards the younger man. "If I recall correctly it was I who frightened _you_. I apologize for-"

"Don't," Cloud said quickly. "I know it wasn't your fault and if I'd been thinking clearly I would have realized that." Vincent looked up at him in surprise. "Tifa and I had a long talk and it put things in perspective for me." The swordsman continued. "I remember what I went through at Hojo's hands and for you...it was a lot worse. So this whole thing with the demons is his fault. It isn't yours and...I don't think you're a monster." He took a deep breath. "I won't lie and say that I never have, because I did think that for a long time, but now..." He trailed off, looking at Tifa, who smiled encouragingly. "I think you're as human as me or any of the others." Cid saw a single tear slide down one of Vincent's pale cheeks.

"Thank you." The gunman whispered. Cid could feel his hand trembling slightly where it still held his wrist. "It means a lot to hear you say such things." Cloud smiled up at the taller man, relief evident in his eyes. Tifa came forward then and gingerly wrapped her arms around Vincent's small waist.

"You are human Vincent." Cid heard her quietly murmur before pulling away and wiping at tears of her own. "Don't let anyone tell you different." Vincent nodded solemnly then stepped quickly to the side as Yuffie launched herself at him.

"Can't I have a hug too Vinnie?!" She cried, holding out her arms.

"If you quit calling me by that ridiculous name then...yes." The gunman replied curtly.

"Vin?"

"No."

"Vince?"

"...I suppose." Vincent sighed and allowed her to hug him.

"I was really worried about you." She said, her words muffled by his sweater. "I thought you'd died when..." She trailed off and Cid finally noticed that she was crying. Vincent let go of his wrist finally and placed his arms hesitantly around the girl's shoulders. "Bet you didn't know I cared, huh." Vincent slowly shook his head, seemingly at a loss for words. "Well I do you big oaf." The ninja sighed then let go of him and stepped back, scrubbing at her face. "Don't disappear like that again, okay?"

"I won't."

"Promise?" She held up her hand, pinky extended. Cid watched with a smile on his face as Vincent hesitated then reached out and hooked his own pinky around hers.

"I promise." He said quietly. Yuffie grinned brightly up at him before letting go and walking over to Barret.

"You're a real prick, ya know that?" She snapped before stomping off the ship. Tifa smiled at Vincent before reaching out to squeeze his hand.

"If you ever want to talk, Cloud and I are both here for you." She told him quietly before following after Yuffie. Cloud grinned.

"Yeah, what she said." He grabbed Barret's arm and dragged him off after the two women leaving Cid and Vincent standing alone in the cargo bay. The pilot looked up at the man he loved and was surprised to see a small smile on the man's lips. It looked so foreign on his normally expressionless face that Cid thought he was just hallucinating at first, but when Vincent looked over at him he saw the smile grow. It was so beautiful that Cid was rendered uncharacteristically speechless.

"Damn yer beautiful." He breathed, finally finding his voice. To his complete shock Vincent laughed. Cid's jaw dropped and all he could do was stare.

"I am far from beautiful, but thank you." The gunman smiled down at him, his eyes sparkling with amusement. Cid could only gape at him. Vincent had _laughed_. Was the world ending? Suddenly Vincent's smile faded and he began to sway on his feet. The pilot's trance broke and he caught the older man before he could collapse onto the cold metal floor.

"I think its 'bout time you get yerself into a goddamn bed." Cid muttered gruffly as he scooped the ex-Turk up into his arms.

"Past time I would say." Vincent murmured sleepily. Outside they could hear a plane taking off, heralding their friend's departure. As Cid walked towards his quarters he thought about Barret and all the things he'd said then about Vincent's reaction. Not once had the man lost control of his demons even though at least one of them had been speaking to him during the entire conversation. Cid smiled down at Vincent, who'd fallen asleep in his arms. It seemed as though the man was getting his control over the demons back. As he laid Vincent down in his large bed and covered him with the blankets he wondered what this new turn of events meant for their relationship.

* * *

The nightmares had returned. Vincent woke with a strangled cry, sitting straight up in bed and grabbing at his throat. He could still feel the teeth of Hellmasker's saw from his dream, but as the images faded the pain did not. It was then that he remembered how he'd damaged his throat. A wave of nausea rolled through him making him groan and collapse back on the bed. He curled up and clutched at his stomach as the sick feeling turned to pain. God how he hated this. It happened every time Death Gigas broke free.

_**'We have an idea, Host.'**_ Galian chuckled in his mind. _**'It might be that if you actually ate real food every once in a while the mindless ones would not be so hungry.'**_

"What do you mean?"

_**'We know that your survival is not dependent on sustenance, my dear Host. Ours is the same, yet in the demonic world we ate to give us strength. We thought that perhaps it could be the same for you.'**_

"..."

_**'Try it, Host, what could it hurt?'**_

"Nothing, I suppose." Vincent sighed. He had a slight aversion to eating after all he'd been through. "Do I have to eat meat?" He asked sullenly as he sat up, the pain had left him. Galian roared with laughter.

_**'Eat what you wish.'**_ The beast chuckled before retreating. Vincent frowned then climbed out of bed and walked over to the window. He wondered where Cid had gone as he crawled up onto the sill and sat there staring out into the night. These were obviously his quarters. They were much larger and more high end than the room Vincent had stayed in before, so where was the Captain? He sighed, turning his attention to the sky. The stars were shining brightly within the cloudless expanse. They were all that had stayed the same during his long sleep and looking up at them gave him comfort. Everything else on Gaia had changed from the town to the people to the technology. It was rather disconcerting and he missed how simple life used to be...well what he could remember of it anyway. His memories were like black and white photographs of someone else's life and he barely remembered anything from his earlier years. He'd been born in Wutai, that much he knew because he had memories of the village before Sephiroth had destroyed most of it...that and his mother. He couldn't remember her face very well, but he knew that she was Wuitaian. His father was a great big blank in his memory courtesy of Chaos. The bastard hadn't wanted to return to the Planet so in retaliation for sending him into the Lifestream Chaos had torn from Vincent everything he had learned about his father and most of his childhood memories. The ones that could be considered even remotely happy. All Vincent had left were scraps, but oddly enough it didn't pain him.

It had at first, but now as he sat there staring up at the sky he realized that hanging on to the past was useless. There was no way to get it back or go back and change things, but...he could learn from it. Learn from his mistakes. It was hard to let go of, though. He'd been trying for the past year, but he'd been mostly...distracted and hadn't focused on it. Lucrecia was the only part of his past that he had managed to release. Her memory no longer pained him or made him angry...it just was. She had made her choices and he had made his, nothing would change and now he knew that he had not failed her...it was _she_ who had failed him. He could never hate her though. It had been she who had given him Chaos and the Protomateria, and even though he would rather have died at that moment in time, he was grateful. Without her he never would have met Cid, the first person to look past what he had become to see the man that he was.

Thinking now about Cid brought his mind to the kisses they had shared a few days ago and the words the pilot had spoken. _I love you._ _Yer only human_. Two phrases, six words and they meant more to Vincent than anything. He'd never believed that anyone would care about him let alone love him again in this life and for that same person to think him human...Vincent sighed, wrapping his arms around his knees. Cid had done more for him in the span of a week than anyone had in his life. His own feelings for the blonde pilot were so muddled and confused that he didn't even know where to start so as to unravel them. He knew he _liked_ Cid and was more comfortable around him than anyone else he knew, but he was confused. He'd always thought Cid and Shera were an item. The truth had thrown him for a loop and trying to deal with that on top of controlling his demons was a little overwhelming.

He supposed he needed to take one thing at a time. For him regaining strict control over Hellmasker and Death Gigas was a priority. He trusted Galian since the great wolf had never once disobeyed him...not that he really gave the demon commands anyway, but that wasn't the point. He had respect for Galian and for some reason it was mutual, that was all that mattered. Once he got his strength back he could deal with what he felt for Cid. He told himself that he could not tell the pilot the three words it was obviously waiting for until he knew for sure that that was what he felt. Vincent remembered what love felt like and was mature enough to know that it was different for everyone. He would never feel the same for Cid the way he had for Lucrecia. They were different people and had done different things for him. The fact that their genders were different would never be an issue. Vincent had never loved a man, but he had also never discounted the prospect of it happening. Who a person fell in love with was who they fell in love with regardless of age, sex, or creed. Sometimes it just happened.

So he knew that he was not averse to the idea of loving Cid. There were three things holding him back. The first was obviously his demons, they needed to be dealt with, but with Galian's help he may have figured out a way to do so...as long as he didn't have to eat raw meat. A shudder past through him at the thought. The second thing holding him back was his self-hatred. He hated the way he looked and it was embarrassing to admit that even to himself. He was disgustingly thin, covered in horrible scars, and had a cybernetic hand. The gunman was ashamed of what he looked like and it wasn't something that was going to be easy to get past. The third thing holding him back was fear. Vincent was afraid of everything that could go wrong if he entered into a relationship with Cid. What he most feared was the destruction of their friendship. The pilot had been his first human friend. The first person to take the time to try and get to know him, which was difficult to the extreme because Vincent didn't like opening up about himself. What if Cid decided that he didn't want to be around him anymore because he was so closed off and...

Vincent closed his eyes against all the 'what ifs' now running through his mind. He was doing it again. Defeating himself before hope could blossom. He wished Cid would come in so that he wouldn't have to be alone anymore. The ex-Turk was too scared to venture out into the ship without his cape. He missed his own clothing desperately. He could hide within them and act like he was fine. Without them he felt exposed and uncomfortable. He remembered the stares the others had given him when he'd stepped out of hiding back in the forest. They had never seen him like that for a reason and their looks of shock cemented in his mind what he already knew. He was disgusting.

**A/N: **Oh the angst, I can't seem to get away from it. Hopefully I can write some happier chapters soon. I really hope that I am portraying the characters accurately. I realize that I don't make Cid swear near enough. In all the stories I've read about him he's like $#% this and $#^ that lol. I've been struggling just to write his damn accent. Its rather difficult for me since I talk more like Vincent, very formal and a lot of big words(Which both my husband and brother hate hahaha)

Sorry to all the Barret fans, I kind of made him a huge asshole in the past couple chapters. I never really liked him in any of the games so it was easy for me lol. Eventually he'll come around to the fact that Vincent isn't the monster he believes him to be...hopefully haha. I'm not entirely sure where this story is going and its getting long lol. I hope it isn't too boring. I would hate to bore people. I think in Chapter Seven I'm going to add a bit more fun...maybe I will torture Vincent with some interesting foods lol.


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